Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Demi Gods & Donkey Dicks Week 4

Demi God

For this week, we're going to have a tie. Andrew & Geiss put up exact numbers in their the pic 'ems, and they both won their fantasy football games. I couldn't decide between my best friend of like 30 years and my brother of like 30 years, so I figured I'd flip a cup. But, then I realized, "Duh, Adam, you don't flip a cup to decide something, you flip a coin. Flipping a cup is for flip cup." So, instead I bought a twelve pack and played flip cup alone for the entire day. Then when I woke up from being passed out I realized that I still hadn't made up my mind about Demi God. So, I just made it a tie.

Donkey dick of the week

Going to have to give this one to old ROB "KLINGON" KLINGONSMITH
That's right pal. You're team isn't worth even the ten dollars you are putting your face in right now. Just kidding, you haven't been that bad. But, you did put up a sweet 15 points in pick em this week. That's right 15 points COMBINED. Folden put up 15 points in the College pick em alone. STRATHMORE STOCK BITCH. Not only that, but your team shit the bed in fantasy football, and your superbowl prediction teams are a combined 1-5. AND, one of your national championship teams already has a loss., you are going to be a lawyer someday...should probably keep you on my good side.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Football God Week 4

Another week in the books. In college football 4 of the top 10 teams in the country lost. 3 of which were to unranked teams. Penn State took a geriatric dump on their own chests, Ole Miss somehow let Steve Spurriur become relevant again, Miami made VT look like a good team, and Cal got absolutely SLAUGHTERED by Oregon. This does nothing but strengthen the argument that there should be no pre season rankings in College Football.

In other news, Boise State has been bumped up to #5 in the nation. Here's a question. If Boise St wins out, how many teams do you think will jump them. I mean we are 4 games into the season and although Boise is undefeated, their is no realistic chance that they will play for the national championship.

In the pick 'em this week, Folden put up a blistering 15 points. Andrew finally joined the party, picking up 13 points. The rest of us were meandering between 12 and 10, except for Joe who put up 9 points, and Rob who put up a dismally pathetic 7.

Good Pick, Better Pick, Worst Pick

Good picks this week, Jim & I took South Florida over Florida State, Folden & Munez took SMU over the 13.5 point spread, Geiss & Folden got Iowa over PSU, Jim & Folden got ASU over Georgia, & Me and Geiss got Stanford over Washington

An even better pick was Folden's foresight to take Miss St over LSU. I guess when you're going to go 15-6 you're going to get a lot of games right.

Worst Pick - It could go a lot of ways, but I think Rob & I taking Kentucky over Florida was a pretty obviously bad pick with only a three touchdown spread.

Below are the season leaders in college pick 'em.

In other news, conference play is finally underway for most teams. A couple of weeks down the road, I'll finally be able to give a detailed analysis of each conference, how things are looking and what not.

In the NFL, things were a bit odd today. The Denver Broncos improved to 3-0, the Bengals went to 2-1, dropping the Steelers to 1-2. The Jets are 3-0. The Saints are 3-0, San Fran is 2-1. None of those teams made the playoffs last year. Besides the Broncos, Jets, and Saints, the Colts, Ravens, Giants, & Vikings are undefeated. Minnesota accomplished this on the pants wetting throw by Brett Favre to (didn't know he was still in the league) Greg Lewis.

As far as our pre-season predictions go, my picks are looking good so far, as the Colts and Vikings are both undefeated so far. The only teams anybody had in the Superbowl that have a losing record so far are the Steelers and the Panthers. Every other team is either 3-0 or 2-1.

Actually, altogether Tennessee, Carolina, Arizona, Pittsburgh, & Miami are a combined 2-13 so far. These teams went a combined 57-23 last year. All of them went to the playoffs, 3 of them had first round byes, all 5 won their divisons, and 2 of them played in the Superbowl.

Good Pick, Better Pick, Worst Pick

Good picks for the week - Munez & Voyten taking Jacksonville over Houston was good. Also, Geiss, Folden, and Jim had Denver over the Raiders.

Better pick - My pick of the Lions winning over Washington was the best pick of the week. That's how you sit in a chair. Also, Andrew being the only one to take the Jets over Tennessee was some good picking.

Worst picks of the week - This one has to go to Rob. He took 0-2 Carolina over Dallas on the road. Not savvy.

NFL picks of the week total

Voyten - 12
Munez - 11
Geiss - 11
Adam - 11
Joe - 11
Folden - 11
Andrew - 10
Colin - 10
Jim - 10
Rob - 8

Overall Results


Folden - 49
Adam - 47
Colin - 46
Jim - 45
Munez - 45
Geiss - 45
Joe - 44
Andrew - 43
Voyten - 42
Rob - 37 (is it too early to start figuring out Rob's elimination number here)


Munez - 36
Jim - 35
Folden - 34
Colin - 33
Adam - 31 (oddly, Geiss & I have had the same record all three weeks so far)
Geiss - 31
Rob - 29
Voyten - 28
Andrew - 28
Joe - 27

Fantasy Football

Joe - 20
Voyten - 20
Rob - 20
Colin - 20
Geiss - 20
Munez - 20
Adam - 10
Folden - 10
Andrew - 10
Jim - 0

Overall Total (Make sure to re do the math on your self. I do these quickly and believe it or not, i am fallible)

1. Munez - 101 (LW 3 ^2)
2. Colin - 99 (LW 1 (-1)
3. Geiss - 96 (LW 6 (^3)
4. Folden - 93 (LW 4 Even Steven)
5. Joe - 91 (LW 7 (^2)
6. Voyten - 90 (LW 9 (^3)
7. Adam - 88 (LW 5 (-2)
8. Rob - 86 (LW 2 (-6)
9. Andrew - 81 (LW 10 (^1)
10. Jim - 80 (LW 8 (-2)

Congrats Munez, you rose to the cream of the crop. I'm proud of you. I'll do the Demi God & Donkey Dick tomorrow. L8er Sk8ers.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Week 3 Results Show: Part 2

Well, I'm going to avoid showing any pictures this post, because my eye balls hurt. We'll get down to the stank nast.

The 49ers are 2-0 defeating the Cardinals and the Seahawks in their first two games. Suck my dick.

People who picked Atlanta and New Orleans are happy. Each are 2-0 early on in the season. Of course Rob's super bowl pick Carolina is 0-2 in that division. Soon, Rob may have the first big casualty of the season, for his Super Bowl loser.

The NY Giants took advantage of Tony Romo's bed shitting Sunday Night en route to a last second victory. They also stand at 2-0.

And the Minnesota Favre stand at 2-0, having beat the Cleveland Browns and the Detroit Lions this season. They will have their next barn burner next week against win less St.Louis.

In the AFC, 3 teams that nobody had winning their divisions are sitting at the top. The New York Jets, Baltimore, & the Broncos. Everybody can rest easily though, as the only 100% sure fire thing to happen this season is for San Diego to win the west. Folden was the only one with the foresight to pick the Jets, but he didn't man up enough to put them at the division win. Only at the wild card level. And the Ravens are 2-0 after beating the AFC west to start the season.

In the AFC South the Colts took two difficult games down to the wire to start 2-0 for like the 1,000th time in a row.

In the pro pick 'em Folden & Munez tied with a nice 11 out of 16. Colin, Rob, & Jim all put up 10. That's when things start to get bad, with myself and Geiss only going 8-8, Andrew only going 7-99, and Shawn & Joe going 5-11 a piece.

So for the season, here is your leader board.

Munez 25
Jim 25
Folden 23
Colin 23
Rob 21
Geiss 20
Adam 20
Andrew 18
Joe 16
Voyten 16

The college standings for the season so far are

Adam 35
Joe 35
Colin 35
Munez 35
Folden 34
Jim 34
Geiss 33
Voyten 32
Rob 30
Andrew 30

Plus all of these people got the ten point bonus for their fantasy wins this week. Those are the following


So now we have our current point standings.

Current Standings
(Last Week Results on the Right)
1. Colin 78 2 (^1)
2. Rob 71 5 (^3)
3. Munez 70 T6 (^3)
4. Folden 67 T6 (^2)
5. Adam 65 1 (- 4)
6. Geiss 63 3 (-3)
7. Joe 61 4 (-3)
8. Jim 59 8 (" ")
9. Voyten 58 9 (" ")
10.Andrew 48 10 (" ")

Football Demi God of the Week

Gonna have to give it to the man, Colin Reilly. Check that, Chris Everett. Colin not only won his fantasy football game, tied for the win in college football pick 'em, but he also tied for 3rd, one of the victory in the pro pick 'em. Pretty fucking manly

In case you guys were wondering, YES, Colin loves his Beaver in the process of shaving, while looking in a vanity mirror.

Donkey Dick of the Week

This one was kind of tough for me. Sunday, when I realized that Joe had forgotten to many any pics for the Sunday 1:00 games, I had automatically penciled him in. But, when Voyten finished the week tied with Joe with only 5 correct predictions, even though he had 9 chances more than Joe to break that tie. Briefly my decision wavered. However, in the end Joe wins it.

Let's just put it this way. Forgetting is Strathmore Stock. Even if you decide spur of the moment to drive to Alabama to watch WVU shit their faces, you can still take the 5 minutes at any point of the week to make your choices. And, anybody who forgets in the future, learn from this cautionary tale. There's $20 beans available here, but more importantly...Pride

Get your picks in (that means you Joe.)

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Sexy Week 3 Updates: Part 1

Yo, what's up my dickles? I'm back with a boner ready to tell you all about the stanky cheese that went down in the game of sports this weekend so far.

Let's start off with the obvious. Geiss's National Championship Pick, USC, lost this weekend to Washington. This makes 3 people who have had their a team playing in their National Championship losing in the first 3 weeks of the season. OH MY!

In a move that makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever, the AP voted the Hurricanes #9 in the country. This means that Miami has gone from unranked to a top 10 team by beating Florida St & Georgia Tech, two slightly above average programs from the ACC. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT be suprised when this unrealistic and undeserved acclaim train hits the fucking wall down the road.

Speaking of undeserving. After losing to Miami and almost losing to Jacksonville St, Florida St got back into the top 25 jumping to fucking 18th in the country, by stomping a mid major. The voters really want the ACC to be good, don't they. I mean they just cum in their pants over it.
just like you guys while you read the sexy updates.
What this means for our preseason predictions is that Miami is 2-0 in the ACC. Georgia Tech's loss puts them down a little bit for Shawn, and I mentioned Florida St so that I could put pictures of Jenn Sturger's sexy tits up.

In other news USC fell to #12, Oklahoma is up to #10, and Ohio State fell two spots to #13, even though they crushed their opponent this weekend. That being said, Geiss, Shawn, and Rob's picks for National Championship Game teams still have a shot to rise back up to the top. Unlikely, but it's better to lose early than late.

In other news WVU showcased supreme choking capabilities, it was a good 4 years, it's time for the mediocrity to resume.
Penn State refused to cover the spread again.

And Pitt played...nobody really noticed. Especially not the voters of the Top 25 poll.

In the College Pick 'em this week. Jim & Colin kept their momentum running getting an impressive 14 games a piece. Right behind them Joe & Munez had 13. The full results are below.

Jim 14
Colin 14
Munez 13
Joe 13
Adam 12
Geiss 12
Voyten 10
Rob 10
Folden 10
Andrew 9

I hope you all enjoyed your sexy updates. I'll be back tomorrow or Tuesday with the NFL updates and updated standings.
Andrew 9

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Football God Week 2: Part 2

Ok, now that those pesky Monday Night games are over with, and I have a few minutes to sit down and blog, let's get to it. We'll start with the pro picks for the NFL's first week. Jim came out with a redonk 15 of 16 correct predictions. The fluke Denver touchdown being the only thing that stopped him from a perfect score. Directly behind him was Munez, whose glove fit a little better with 14 points.

Here is how the scores came out for the week
Jim 15
Munez 14
Colin 13
Adam 12
Folden 12
Geiss 12
Joe 11
Voyten 11
Andrew 11
Rob 11

Add in the college scores so far:
Folden 24
Adam 23
Shawn 22
Munez 22
Joe 22
Geiss 21
Colin 21
Andrew 21
Rob 20
Jim 20

Also add the 10 points that the winners of week one fantasy football won

That means that right now, the Football God leader board looks like this

Adam 45
Colin 44
Geiss 43
Joe 43
Rob 43
Munez 36
Folden 36
Jim 35
Shawn 33
Andrew 32

So there you go, 2 weeks into the season and I'm winning. I might as well enjoy it now, because that most assuredly won't continue. It would have been interesting if Geiss and I had played in week 1 of the fantasy football season, because I would have beaten him by 1/5th of a point.

So let's move on to our Football Demi God of the week

Jim and Folden each looked good with there pro and college pick 'em scores, but neither won their fantasy game. Colin showed some overall consistancy, but his college picks hurt him a bit this week. Without showing favoritism I am going to have to give it to myself. I finished in third in the pro pick 'em, second in the college, and I won my fantasy football game. That's overall consistancy.

For the donkey dick award for the week, going to the guy who sucked the most donkey dick, I was really wanting to give it to Rob, just to insight a rivalry, but he had to scrape his shit together at the last second and win his fantasy game. So instead, I'm going to have to give it to the elder Johnson. Tied for last in the pro pick 'em, tied for last in the college pick 'em and lost his fantasy football game. Andrew sucked the most donkey dick this week.

So, get those pick 'em pics in and get those fantasy rosters ready. We are finally underway of what's sure to be a great season

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Football God Week 2: Part 1

Well, well, well. Two weeks in and we already have our second loss by somebody's choice for a National Championship team. Freshman Quarterback Charles (Matt) Barkley did two things this weekend to make him one of my favorite college quarterbacks. First, he beat THE Ohio State, a team I couldn't hate anymore if they raped my mother. Secondly, his post game interview with (insert minority side line reporter here) was the closest thing I've ever seen to an oblivious reenactment to Will Ferrell's post race interview in Talladega Nights. He clearly didn't know what to do with his hands.

That means that so far Shawn and Rob's losers in the National Championship are already losers themselves. That leaves USC, Florida, and Texas as the only teams that people put in the National Championship without a loss yet. And, if Oklahoma & OSU win out they still could make it to the championship, because if you're going to loss, better to do it early.

In hilarious news, Andrew's pick to win the ACC fought a long hard battle with nemesis Jacksonville St, needing every allowable quarter to work it's way to victory. How do you go from putting on a vintage game against Miami that could elevate your team back up to National powerhouse status to dukeing it out against a team that I've never heard of. Piss fucking poor.

Florida dominated Troy, who we all have winning that one conference. I think. I don't know. Maybe Colin picked something different. Here is a picture of Tim Teebow during the game.

In good for one program bad for another news, Houston who a couple of people picked to win...Conference USA? The Mac? Not sure really, upset Oklahoma St who proved they were much more overrated than their ranking indicated.

Not a lot else happened this weekend. Mediocre Michigan upset mediocre Notre Dame, who myself, Shawn, and Rob each picked, further solidifying Rob's position as the cancer for teams taht he picked for this season. Cinci & Oklahoma beat their opponents by a combined 2 billion points, and God spent a little bit more time on Geiss, because he's so handsome, you see.

In this weeks Pick 'Em Folden led the way, scoring 13 points. This was followed by 12 for myself and Geiss. The glove started to fit a little better, with Munez putting up 11 points, along with Joe & Jim. Andrew, Shawn, Colin, & Rob got what they deserved, picking the cover for most teams this week and responded with a mediocre 10 points.

For the season, Folden now has a slim lead with 24 points. I'm right behind him with 23 points. Voyten, Munez, and Joe are next with 22 points. Geiss, Colin, & Andrew are next with 21 points, and Rob & Jim bring up the rear with 20. Geiss, I'm gonna call you out here. You usually have lovely little quotes from funny movies as your name, and I think you can do better than Pineapple Express. I expect more from you.

Moving on to the Pros, which thank the fucking god finally got started this weekend. The NFL kicked off on Thursday with a vomit inducing performance by the Black Eyed Peas & Tim McGraw. Dumb. The Steelers & Titans opened up the season with an entertaining game. Both teams played stout defense, and Kerry Collins appeared sober.
However, other reports are that he's still racist.

Big Ben managed to chill out for the better part of three quarters before finally getting involved in the game. Although I feel like the Steelers were outplayed, they found a way to win.

In Sunday's games, Drew Brees made the Lions smell their assholes off of his cock, by throwing 6 touchdown passes. The NO defense punished Matt Stafford's ugly ass in his first game as a pro, while my defensive rookie of the year pick Malcolm Jenkins racked up an impressive 1 tackle.

Also, the Broncos avoided their first of many loses this season, based on a fluke play that led to victory. I don't think it was good luck that helped them out, but more the habitual terrible luck of the Bengals. I'm going to use this a great time to segway into a story from the NFL Draft this year that Shawn & I attended.

We sat behind a group of Bengals fans. As soon they were on the clock they started chanting, "Draft a G.M" referring to Mike Brown, the owner of the Bengals who refuses to spend money/attempt to win games. I spoke to the guys, and they revealed themselves as the writerss of the Cincinnati based blog After several minutes, the Bengals pick was in, and Roger Goddell (spelled right) announced that the Bengals had drafted trouble offensive lineman Andre Smith. IMMEDIATELY, one of the guys snatched a paper bag up from under his chair and throw it over his head. It was without a doubt, the most entertaining moment of the day. And I'm not underplaying the draft, it was a ton of fun. It was just the perfect moment of anguish, self and city loathing, and comedic timing.

That being said, I could never hate the Bengals, because their fans (aside from a couple of fleeting moments half a decade ago) are the Football version of the Pittsburgh Pirates. That franchise is worse than the Lions, worse than the Raiders. At least for the past two decades they are.

Also, in other funny Rob makes bad picks news, Rob's superbowl pick the Carolina Panthers got hammered all day long by Football God NFC favorite Phili. In perfectly set up drama, McNabb got hurt, making people wonder if Vick will get the week 3 start. Jake Delhomme looked like Strathmore Stock, turning the ball over 5 times. This means that in Jake "The Jakes" last two games he has turned the ball over 11 mother fucking times. That, my comrades, is the worst fucking thing that I've ever heard.

I found other more accurate pictures that I could use for Jake Delhomme, but I had to use this one. This is a picture that is supposed to be depicting the quarterback controversy between Rodney Pete & Jake Delhomme from 5 or 6 years ago. This is the least inspired photoshop that I've ever seen in my life. What is it about Delhomme? He's always been one of those guys that gets the job done well enough to keep his job, but you know is never going to take you to the promised land. He's like the ME of the professional football world.

Also, San Fran HERE WE GOOOOOOO MOTHER FUCKERSSSSSS started their run of domination with a win against the go fuckyourself Cardinals this week. More like Mike Awesometary

Adrian Peterson whipped out his boner and beat it over the head of the Browns with 3 touchdowns and 180 yards. Manly. Perhaps it's too early to warrant Timmy T with the Jesus playing football figurine as a picture.

In other news, many people found the Texans an incredibly sexy pick this season (including Rob, of course). The Texans looked terrible, getting pounded by the suprisingly good looking New York Jets. Maybe Folden was onto something when he made that scary as fuck me in the ass pick of the Jets winning the Wildcard.

Part two Tomorrow Night or Tuesday morning.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

NFL Preseason Pics

Well Well Well, we got some preseasn NFL picks in. First, let's go through some stats

6 People have the Pittsburgh Steelers repeating as Super Bowl Champions. (Jim, Colin, Geiss, Joe, Rob, & Munez)

Aside from that we have 1 for NE (Andrew), 1 for Indianapolis (lil ol' me) 1 for San Diego (Shawn) and one for Phili (Folden)

The most popular choice for the Super Bowl this year was Pittsburgh vs Phili with 3 people choosing that. (Munez, Rob, & Jim) followed by 2 for the Pittsburgh Vs the New York Giants (Joe, & Geiss). The other Pittsburgh choice was Rob taking them to face Carolina.

Other Choices were my Indi vs Minnesota (hoping for the Peyton vs Brett match up one more time), San Diego vs Phili for Folden, San Diego vs Green Bay for Shawn, and New England vs Green Bay in a rematch of Superbowl 31 for Andrew.

Let's move on to those Conference Championship games. What many sports fans call the best week of football for a true football fan, before the corporate whoring of the Superbowl.

I shit you not, but every fucking person put Pittsburgh in the AFC Championship game. So if they go down we all go down. Some more than others. The overwhelming pick was (for the 34th time this decade) New England vs Pittsburgh (Geiss, Jim, Andrew, Munez, Rob, & Joe) myself with Indi vs Pitt, Shawn, Colin and Folden with Pittsburgh vs San Diego. How am I the only fucking person to put Indi in the AFC Championship? Is there something I don't know about going on? Did Peyton Manning sell his soul for a donut commercial?
Just so you guys know, if you type Shawn Voyten into a Google image search, this picture will be in the top 10 results
The NFC Championship provides a bit more variety. Suprisingly 3 people picked Phili vs Green Bay to play each other (Folden, Colin & Jim) I think Colin & Jim jerked each other off while they made their picks, because they are pretty fucking comparable. Odd, considering they've never met. Maybe they had cyber sex. 4 other people had Phili in the NFC championship. Myself & Munez have them playing the Vikings, Joe has them playing the Giants, and Rob has them playing Carolina. In other games, Geis has the most original pick of all of us taking Chicago vs the Giants, Shawn's taking Green Bay vs Dallas, Andrew taking New Orleans vs Green Bay.

Now let's run through the Divisons

AFC North

Everybody has Pittsburgh winning that one. Enough said

AFC East

Unanimous New England
P.S Bill Belichick hates it when you talk, while he fucks you in the ass

AFC West

San Diego gets 10. Everybody else gets 0
(Last year I took Denver and was preparing to cum in everybody else's face at week 14. Then Denver came in my face...I did not recover)

AFC South

8 People took the Colts
2 People didn't (Munez with Jacksonville & Colin with Tennessee)

NFC East

8 People took Phili
2 took the Giants (Folden and Geiss)

NFC Norris (I hate you Chris Berman)

GB - Jim, Shawn, Colin, & Rob
Minnesota - Me, Folden, Andrew, Munez,
Chicago - Joe & Geiss

NFC West

Arizona - Folden, Jim, Colin, Rob, Joe
Seattle - Shawn, Andrew, Geiss, Munez

NFC South

New Orleans - Me, Folden, Shawn, Andrew, Munez, and Joe
Atlanta - Jim & Geiss
Carolina - Colin & Rob

Wild Card
Now we have some fun, let's get to this one. I'm sure everybody's going to have some crazy fucking picks here right.


8 people took Baltimore to get in again. Not a bad choice, their schedule is softer than my rape eyes. (adam, jim, shawn, andrew, colin, munez, rob, joe)

Tennessee - The return of our favorite running back Glendale White was able to conjure up 2 picks (Jim & Folden)

Colin put Indi in with one of his choices, making Munez the only person to not put Indi in the playoffs.

The pick I'm already regretting making is my other wild card selection of putting the Oakland Raiders into the playoffs. San Fran and Oakland in the playoffs. Fuck me.

The Texans received a suprising 4 votes this season by Geiss, Andrew, Shawn, and Rob

Miami conjured up 3 votes from Geiss, Munez, and Joe

Who the fuck am I missing here. Only 19 picks so far. Never mind found it. It's Folden's other pick of the New York Jets (almost as bad as my Oakland pick)

NFC Wildcard

This will be more diverse so i'll just do each person and who they picked.

Adam - Dallas & Chicago
Geiss - Phili & Minnesota
Jim - Dallas & New York G
Folden - Green Bay & Phili
Shawn - Dallas & Chicago
Andrew - Green Bay & Atlanta
Colin - Atlanta & Minnesota
Munez - Took the NFC Championship of the 1990s Dallas vs San Fran HE'S DRINKING THE KOOL AID TOO, SAN FRAN MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!
Rob - New Orleans & Minnesota
Joe - Green Bay & New York Giants

So the NFC is pretty diverse.

By the way. If someone has Dallas in the wildcard and they were to win the division the person gets half the points for putting them in the playoffs but getting which was wrong. So, instead of 30 points it would be 15. Dallas was just an example goes for any team

The Byes are almost exactly the same, so I'm not bothering with that. Same thing with the top 3 pics. You'll get all that in the attachment


This one was led by Spic Sanchez, garnering 4 votes (myself, Jim, Folden, & Colin). After that we got a lot of variety. Munez and Voyten took percy Harvin, Rob took UConn's Donald Brown, Joe went with Matt Stafford, Geiss took Knoshawn (i hate black people names) Moreno, & Andrew went with sure to be a bust Darrius Heyward Bey.

DROY Bunch of dudes...bunch of dudes...i tire of this the rest will be in the attachment.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Football God Week 1 Recap

So we are offically underway boys. Week 1 of college football had some nice little surprise. The biggest and best moment of the week was BYU upsetting Oklahoma, while Baby Tits watched from the sidelines.

Also, Rutgers took a hit, getting ABSOLUTELY PUMMELED by Cinci. So much for them being the sexy pick in the big east this year. This comes as no surprise to me, because there is only one sexy thing coming out of the Big East this year, and every year. Until it gets sent back to Virginia Military Institute that is.
Also, Ohio St looked particularly not good against Navy on Saturday, while WVU did the viewers a favor by letting Liberty stay close throughout the game. Also, Pitt won, although I know nothing about how good they looked in doing so. Rob's alma mater Penn St took it to College Football Powerhouse, while not covering the spread. They continue their horrific schedule next week with a game against Syracuse, whose quarterback was Duke's fucking point guard last season. It's going to be tough to find somebody other than Greg Paulus win the "Matt Cassel Award" for most starts at quarterback this season for a guy who hasn't played in half a decade.

I guess there really isn't a lot to update this week. The detailed updates will come next week, once we have a full slate of fantasy games, NFL & College Pick'ems, and developing twists and turns in our preseason pics.

So for now, let's just start with the College Pick'em for week 1. Shawn pulled out to a slim and early lead with 12 points, followed by a shit load of people at 11 points, then Rob at 10, and then Geiss & Jimbo at 9. Whatever, it's early, this is going to change. Probably with me at/near the bottom.

So...Let's have a conversation about preaseason pics that fell off early. Check that, let's talk about Rob's preseason picks that fell off early. Rob had Oklahoma in the BCS Championship, and although this week doesn't effect there Big 12 chances, he had them winning that too. Rob had Ball St winning the MAC, who lost to one of the worst programs in college football North Texas. To be fair, only three teams from the MAC won their game this weekend, none of which being conference related games, but still I'm making fun of Rob here. Rob also had Rutgers winning the Big East...'nuff said. And, Rob had VT winning the ACC. I know that Alabama was a non-conference game, and they played 'Bama tough for most of the game, but still. It's worth making a point that Rob's preseason pics are cancer for the teams that he picked so far.

Next week, I'll be back to update everybody on the what's ups, & to make fun of somebody else for their picks...maybe even myself. Until then, get your picks in, set your fantasy football team, and get ready for some fucking NFL. I'm going to go out by saying that this Miami vs Florida St game is tits. 31-31 with 4 minutes left to go.

Friday, September 4, 2009

College Football Orgy of Preseason Pics

What up my nerdddddddddddddds. Hope you guys enjoyed the draft last night. Again I'm sorry that we drafted 200 players. But suck my Dick. So anyways, the college picks are in. And I'm going go through everybody's pics in this post.

Let's start off with

NCAA subdivision or whatever National Championship

There seemed to be a common theme
Apparently everybody thinks that the Danny Wuerffel vs Major Applewhite collision is all but guarenteed.

Every single person had either Florida or Texas winning the national championship.

7 out of the 10 people in this had Texas Vs Florida in the national championship

All but 2 had Texas in it, Rob putting Oklahoma in it (because National Championship rematches happen so frequently) and Geiss put USC in it.
Voyten was the lone man who left Florida out of it, instead deciding to put Ohio State in against the Longhorns.

All told, this is how it broke down

Florida Winning it - Geiss, Jim, Folden, Munez, Rob, Joe, Andrew
Texas Winning it - Adam, Voyten, Colin

ACC Champion

Again, mostly everybody agreed with what I like to call the moronic media which controls college football. Of the 10 of us, 7 people have the VT Vick Stompers marching to the championship. With three exceptions; Myself taking UNC, Voyten taking GT, and Andrew taking FL ST.

Big East

According to the Football God nation, it's a three team race in the Big East this season. This is how the predictions came up
Rutgers - Colin, Folden, & Rob
WVU - Geiss, Jim, & Joe
Pitt - Andrew, Voyten, & Munez

Oh yeah, and I took South Florida USF. I figured they've had a Groethe on them for so long, they needed to get it off the right way...I don't know what that means.


We'll just breeze through these, because everybody picked the same teams. USC, Boise St, and Florida. Here are your USC & Boise pictures

So there we go. Felony assault by a football player + killing things = O.J Simpson

I really need a life.

Big 10

My God what a pathetic conference. I guess this what a conference who calls itself the Big 10 although there are 11 teams in it gets. Fucking idiots. They should put Notre Dame in it, just so they can add another mediocre team that gets WAY to much fucking hype to their conference (That's a burn against you, OSU & PSU) Regardless, we have 6 people (me, jim, geiss, shawn, andrew, & munez) taking OSU here, and 4 people (folden, rob, colin, & joe) taking PSU. Seriously though, between the two of them the only difficult game they have all season is OSU vs USC. Fucking redonk.

Even though I picked Ohio St to win the Big 10, part of me really hopes someone like Iowa can pull it off. That and that Rich Rod gets his faggot ass fired.

Big 12 & The Sun Belt Conference

Probably the only time those 2 conferences will ever be under the same heading together. But alas, both of these teams got 9 out of 10 possible votes. The only 2 oddballs being Rob taking chronically overrated Oklahoma & Colin taking Florida Atlantic, for god knows what reason.

So here are your pictures. One of which is an Asian with two balls (right? ha)
And the only thing I can say about the Troy Trojans is that I actually bought some Trojans today. For sex, you see.


Central Michigan is the favorite here, getting five votes; but, it is rivaled by left of center Western Michigan which received 3 votes. Also Rob picked Ball St, who have already faltered, and Colin's pick of Buffalo (because their coach is black and we need affirmative action in "Football God"damnit.

Mountain West Conference

More like the Mountain Breast i the only one who drank the Kool Aid?

Well it's a battle of Bringing them Young, Texas Christian, & Utah...Hi, I'm in Utah.

Geiss, Folden, Joe, & Voyten went with BYU
Andrew, Rob, & Munez took the Utes to repeat
Jim & I took TCU
& Colin for no good reason at all took Colorado St. They went 6-6 last year. I just don't get it.

Conference USA

In our last conference we have some good variety

We had 4 people, myself, Geiss, Colin, & Joe take ECU
Jim & Voyten took Houston
Munez & Rob took Tulsa
Then out of left & right field Andrew took Marshall & Folden took Southern Miss (Favre's alma mater)

Heisman Trophy

That guy. That's what the guy looks like who has the most votes to win the Heisman. He is fucking ugly. And this is coming from an ugly guy. But this guy...God...this guy is hideous.

Joe, Jim, Folden, Voyten, & Colin all took him. We're far from the days of handsome clean cut looking Heisman trophy winners. Like Starbach & Danny Tanner Wuerfell.
Any blog with 2 pics of that man is a good blog. With 4 votes we have the reincarnation of Jesus Christ Timmy Teboz Tebow.
Myself, Rob, Geiss, & Andrew took him. Plus I want to show some respect to Munez, who went outside of the box and took Tyrell Pryor to win. Longshot or Funshot?

I'll be sending out all of the pics, once I get everybody's NFL picks. You'll be able to see there everybody's conference championship pics and BCS games too. But for now, let's end with this.

Consistently biased Lou Holtz has Notre Dame playing Florida in the BCS championship this season. I think we should get him to do 2010 Football God. His team name could be 'Easy Twenty.'

Good luck this year queers. I miss you all. Commissioner faggot out.