Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Football God Update: 10/27/15

All Hallow's Eve is upon us.  So here's your super scary Football God update.  


Four weeks ago Civ was in 11th in the college and pro pick'em, and 0-3 in the fantasy league.  He seemed dead in the water for Football God.  

Four weeks later and he's 4-3 in fantasy and 1st in the college pick'em.  He's still balls in the pro pick'em, but it's an impressive turnaround.  What's even more impressive is that he earned at least a share of the 10 point bonus every week for 3 of those 4 weeks as well. 


Our other newbie, Eplin, started hte fantasy season 3-1.  Since then he's gone 0-3.  He's in 10th in the pro pick'em, and hasn't had a pick'em bonus since week 1.  Eplin is in 3rd in the college pick'em, so there is reason not be optimistic there.


The last two weeks of the Survivor Pool have had opposite results.  At the beginning of Week 6 there were 7 people remaining in the pool.  We took 6 different games between the 7 of us, nearly guaranteeing that some people would lose. Instead, everyone moved onto the following week.

Week 7 wasn't as fortunate to everyone.  Munez chose the Chargers over the Raiders, which back fired.  And, Folden made the very ballsy pick of not picking anyone at all.  This move is unprecedented...and stupid.  Apparently, Folden forgot to make his pick, while moving into his new house.  Congrats on the house, homey.  Diapers on your pick. 

So, heading into week 8, we still have 5 people remaining (Rob, Shawn, Adam, Geiss, and Joe).  


There are 6 weeks left of the college pick'em season and here is where we stand.

Civ has 83 and a 2 point lead over Colin.  Eplin and I are both 5 points back.  Rob, Munez , and Jim are all 7 points back.  Everyone else is 8 to 10 points back. 

So, for now.  Anyone can still win this thing, however those that are further back need to make a move now or lose out on the big 40 point winning bonus.  Simple as that.

In the Pro Pick'em there is still more time to make some moves.

Rob has the lead there with 70 points with Shawn only one point behind at 69.  Folden and Jim are 2 points back at 68.  The rest of us are between 66 and 58 with Gary bringing up the rear. 

For the Bonus, I won the 10 points this week with a combined 22 points, 1 point in front of Folden and Rob.

Here are the pick'em bonus results so far by week this year. 

Week 1: Adam, Dan, Eplin
Week 2: Adam
Week 3: Colin, Gary, Munez
Week 4: Folden
Week 5: Jim, Gary, Civ
Week 6: Civ
Week 7: Civ, Voyten
Week 8: Adam


This weekend Geiss got his 2nd win, and Folden his 2nd loss.  Meaning that the records from 1st to 12th are between 5-2 and 2-5.  

Rob beat Gary this week to move to 4-3, Gary fell to 3-4
Colin (4-3) pounded me (3-4)
Jim (5-2) beat Folden (5-2)
Voyten (4-3) beat Munez (3-4)
Geiss (2-5) beat Eplin (3-4)
Civ (4-3) beat Joe (2-5)


Fantasy wins (10 points each) + pro pick'em + college pick'em + bonus = total

Jim 50+68+76+(10)=204
Folden 50+68+73+(10)=201
Rob 40+70+76=186
Civ 40+59+83+(30)=212
Colin 40+63+81+(10)=194
Voyten 40+69+75+(10)=194
Adam 30+65+78+(25)=198
Gary 30+58+75+(20)=183
Eplin 30+60+78+(5)=173
Munez 30+61+76+(10)=177
Geiss 20+64+74+(5)=163
Joe 20+66+73=159


1. Civ 212
2. Jim 204 
3. Folden 201
4. Adam 198
t5. Colin 194
t5. Shawn 194
7. Rob 186
8. Gary 183
9. Munez 177
10. Eplin 173
11. Geiss 163
12. Joe 159

So, there we are.  In 3 weeks Civ has gone from 11th to 1st.

Eplin and Munez both dropped 4 spots, but Gary had the furthest drop going from 3rd to 8th.

I jumped 4 spots from 8th to 4th.  Other than that most people stayed close to where they were before.

Joe is holding down that McLane spot at dead last place.  However, he's a much more competetive 12th place then his brother ever was.  Our two time champion needs to get moving if he's going to have a shot to 3 peat.  

That's it for this week.  Happy Halloween fags. 

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Weekend Recap

No point update this week, but I will give you guys a quick recap of the Football God happenings.

Survivor Pool - The castration of Eplin and the worst pick of the year

The survivor pool has become like a scary movie, and every week is a different murder scene.  This week Eplin got his balls cut off, and then left alone to bleed out.  Somehow Jay Cutler took the lowly Bears to their 2nd straight win.

Not a bad pick by Eplin, it's never a bad idea to bet against Cutler.  However, this week, YA BURNT.

Other than that, everyone else took a nice heaping serving of Green Bay, New England, and Atlanta.  All three of them stayed undefeated, keeping the other six 1-strike players in contention.

Voyten, the last person to have 0 strikes, did a classic Clint Hurdle and overthought things until he had the HOUSTON TEXANS picked.  That's the equivalent of starting Sean Rodriguez in the wildcard game.  That has to be the worst pick of the year.

Anyway, we're onto week 6 and left in the running are Folden, Voyten, Geiss, Munez, Adam, Joe, and Rob.  Not as many obvious games this week.  I have a feeling the herd is going to be gutted this weekend.

Pick 'em  The rise of Jim and Civ.  The fall of Gary

For the 2nd straight week, Civ has gathered the 10 points in the pick'em bonus (this time without a tie).  Even more impressive than that, in two weeks Civ has gone from 11th place in the college pick'em to 4th.  What's even more impressive than that is that right now Jim is leading BOTH the college pick'em and pro pick'em.  I'm going to go on record in this update, and say that picking the Pro Pick'me straight up is a fucking joke, as Jim having a 6 point lead on Gary becomes nearly impossible for Gary to come back from, even though we're only like 30% of the way through the season.

Speaking of Gary, two weeks ago Gary had a monster lead in the college pick'em, and one average week + one dreadful week now has Gary in 3rd.  Fortunes can change much quicker in the college pick'em.

Fantasy Football

Folden beat Geiss.  Folden stays undefeated and has an early 3 game lead over the playoffs.
Civ wins 2nd in a row over Eplin.
Gary pummeled Voyten
I beat up on Munez
Jim kicked the shit out of Rob
Joe got a much needed win over Colin.

So where does that put us?

Current Playoff Picture

#1 Folden (bye)
#2 Jim (bye)

#3 Gary vs #6 Adam
#4 Eplin vs #5 Voyten

That's the way the playoffs would go if they started today.  To show how quickly things have changed, two weeks ago I was 0-3 and in 10th place.

Right now everyone from 6th place to 12th place is either 2-3 or 1-4.  So realistically, Geiss could jump from 12th to 6th in a week or two.  That is if his team stops chugging cum and decides to score some points.

In a league this tight, tie breakers may turn out to be the big difference, and we all know that points are the tie breaker.  Right now Rob and I have the big lead in that department over the rest of the sub .500 gang.

That's all for this week.  I'll be back later in the week for a weekend preview.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Weekend Preview

Week 5 of the fantasy football season is on the horizon so let's do a little preview.

The first trade of the season went down this week with me sending Justin Forsett to Munez for Lagarette Blount and Greg Olson.

Let's see if the trading block fills up.  Onto the matchups.

Jim (3-1) vs Rob (2-2)

Rob comes back after a rough performance last week.  He has Todd Gurley and Foster finally both fully healthy.  Jim keeps chugging along, putting up consistent numbers each week.  I think Rob's going to be a force once Big Ben and Dez come back, however I think Jim wins this one, while Rob struggles through another tough week.

Adam (1-3) vs Munez (2-2)

In what may be the dumbest move of the season, I traded for a player on bye, and gave Munez a solid running back to play on me.  This may be the dumbest move I've ever made, and I'm sure it'll lead to me being 1-4.

Voyten (3-1) vs Gary (2-2)

Gary and Voyten both have solid teams.  They both are projected to have solid weeks.  Nothing more to say about this one.

Eplin (3-1) vs Civ (1-3)

Civ and Eplin are on opposite sides of the standings.  But, a solid game by Civ has given him some momentum.  Maybe it'll continue.

Upset Alert:

Joe (0-4) vs Colin (2-2)

Joe made a good point to me the other day.  His team has been outscored the most in our league more than 100 points.  That's a staggering number.  Colin has some health/bye issues, so I think this week is the week that ends the streak, and our champion tries to reclaim some former glory.

Game of the Week:

Folden (4-0) vs Geiss (1-3)

Geiss is in need of a win to stay competitive, but it comes against the only undefeated team left in the league. This is the game of the week because each team is set to score a lot of points.  This game could easily end up very close, with each team over 130 points.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Football God Update: 10/6/2015. Civ decided to join us.

After basically not playing for the first 4 weeks of the season, Civ has joined the party.  Civ was able to not only win his first fantasy game of the season, but also won the week of college pick'em and earned the weekly bonus.  Holy shit.  Well done, Civ.  Thanks for joining.

SURVIVOR POOL:  Two more bite the dust.

However, we'll start this update in the one place where Civ did not go well.  This was our most varied week of selections by far, with San Diego, Denver, Cincinnati, Indi, Green Bay, and Arizona all being represented.  5 of the 6 teams selected won their game, with the exception of Arizona.

That gave Civ and Colin their 2nd strike of the season, dropping them from the Survivor Pool.  They join Gary and Jim on the trash heap.

Also, Geiss received his first strike of the season, meaning that Voyten is only person who hasn't earned a strike.

We are at a point where this could literally be over in one week if everything fell Shawn's way.

College Pick'em

Civ dominated the college pick'em this week, ending 3 points higher than anyone else.  This brought him back into the fold overall.  Gary is in the lead overall with 56 points, with Shawn all the way down at 43.

Pro Pick'em

Gary, Shawn, and Jim all lead the way in the Pro Pick'em, correctly picking 10 of 16 games.  With Civ only getting 7, this brought a tie between Civ, Jim, and Gary for the 10 point bonus, of which they will all receive.

The Pro pick'em is now a tie for Jim and Colin with 41 a piece.  Many people are close.


The league went a little screwy over the weekend.

Let's start by talking about Rob and I's game.  I beat Rob by 86 points.  His team put up 45 points for the week.



Did you read that.  


Rob's team put up 3 1/2 times more than that the week before.  The next lowest point total in a week this year is 65.  Twenty points less.

I could have benched all of my players after Thursday night, and still be rob by 3.  Unbelievable.  I believe I achieved my victory with Sheer Domination.  ;)

Also, Civ was win less and beat undefeated Shawn by 30.

Munez beat Geiss to go to 2-2.

Eplin beat Colin by 13 to go to 3-1.

Jim went to 3-1 by beating Gary.

and Folden stayed the leagues only unbeaten team by beating so far hopeless Joe, knocking him to 0-4.

Our two time defending champion in some early trouble whle trying to 3peat.

Right now our fantasy playoff picture would be as follows.

Folden 4-0 on bye
Jim 3-1 on bye

Shawn 3-1 vs 2-2 Gary
Eplin 3-1 vs 2-2 Rob.

Other than that, Munez and Colin are also at 2-2 but outside of the playoff race based off of points.

Next is myself, Civ, and Geiss at 1-3.

And finally, lowly, lowly Joe all alone at 0-4.


I figured it's October, it's not going to hurt to give an overall point update.  Here's how the points are tabulated.

Fantasy wins (10 points each)
plus College pick'em score (1 point per correct pic)
plus Pro pick'em score (1 point per correct pic)
+ (bonus points)

Later this will include predictions and survivor pool, but as of right now it's not relevant.

Folden 40+47+38+(10)=135
Jim 30+52+41+(10)=133
Voyten 30+43+39= 112
Eplin 30+49+35+(5)=119
Rob 20+48+39=107
Colin 20+52+41+(10)=123
Munez 20+53+37+(10)=120
Gary 20+56+35+(20)=131
Adam 10+49+36+(15)=110
Civ 10+48+31+(10)=99
Geiss 10+46+40+(5)=101
Joe 0+52+37=89


1 Folden 135
2 Jim 133
3 Gary 131
4 Colin 123
5 Munez 120
6 Eplin 119
7 Voyten 112
8 Adam 110
9 Rob 107
10 Geiss 101
11 Civ 99
12 Joe 89

Obviously it's early, but is it possible that John has left a curse on his brother.  One that demands a McLane be the worst team in our league?  I don't know.  In any case, as you all know, the winner of Football God will end up north of 800 points for the season, so we still have a lot of juice to suck out of this lemon.

Peace out, girls.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Big Dick Updates: 10/1/2016

Another small update for you filth balls this week.

Another One Bites The Dust:

Gary made the mistake that many people in the greater New York metro area have made time and time again, by trusting the Jets to do anything but let you down.  Gary's joined Jimbo on the trash heap of the Survivor Pool.

I don't know what you guys think, but this Survivor Pool shit is a lot of fun.

Geiss and Shawn still have the distinction of being the only two who still don't have a strike.  Everyone took either New England or Seattle, with the exception of Eplin who took Arizona.

Onto week 4.  2 eliminated, 2 with perfect records, 8 with 1 strike.


Folden grabbed the 10 point bonus for week 4, by picking 23 correct picks for the week.  Overall, Rob holds a 1 point lead over Colin in the Pro Pick'em with 33.

Gary has a 3 point lead over Munez in the college pick'em with 47.

Fantasy Football

Week 3 of Fantasy Football results.

Voyten moved on to 3-0 defeating Jim.

Rob  beat up on Geiss, putting out a huge point total.

Folden moved onto 3-0 nearly doubling up Eplin.

Colin beat up on Civ as well.

Munez got out of the cellar putting a beating on Joe.

And Gary beat me by 3 points, because the Jets Cunt of a coach activated Chris Ivory and then sat him on the sidelines ALL FUCKING GAME.

At this point Shawn and Folden are the only unbeaten teams left in the league.  While myself, Joe, and Civ are all in last place at 0-3.

At 2-1 are Rob, Eplin, Colin, and Jim.

At 1-2 are Munez and Geiss.

This weeks Games.

Adam 0-3 vs Rob 2-1
Civ 0-3 vs Shawn 3-0
Joe 0-3 vs Folden 3-0

All three of these games have similar story lines.  3 teams off to good starts against 3 teams trying to stay relevant.  Sort of like the Steelers v Ravens game.

Geiss 1-2 vs Munez 1-2

One will fall to 1-3, one will get to .500

Blowout of the Week Predicton:  Eplin over Colin.

Colin has lots of questionable people in his lineup this week. I don't think Fitzgerald can keep the magic going 3 weeks in a row, and Karlos Williams is due to not score a TD at some point.

Eplin's team is healthy, hungry, and ready to rape.


Jim (2-1) v Gary (2-1)

Jim's team is getting beat up, but he still has Luck, Brown, and Hopkins.  Gary's starting a WR at RB, so how do you not put him in the Game of the Week.

Until next week, eat my shit, faggots.