Showing posts with label my penis is a tootsie roll. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my penis is a tootsie roll. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Football God: Week 16: Tis the season baby

Sorry the update is late this week, I've had my hands full with lots of shit. But, I'll try to get to it now. I'm going to talk briefly about fantasy football first.

So, John has somehow pulled himself into the semi-finals with a low scoring win over Geiss. Jim's team put up a respectable number of points, while Colin put together a thousand point week to destroy his way into the semis. So, this week the playoffs look like this

(1) Andrew
(5) John

(6) Colin
(2) Joe

My predictions for this week, Andrew's team is projected to lose to John, and although John is a one man wrecking crew, Andrew's team has won whenever I assumed he wouldn't all year. I'm taking Andrew 110 - John 94

In the other game, Joe has been scoring an unbelievable pace recently, and lucky for Colin, his team has shown that they can score like that too. Looking at matchups, I like Joe's team better this week. Gonna take him 543 - 489.

Total scores for Fantasy Football look like this.

Each team that's in the semi finals gets a 20 point bonus

Andrew 110
Joe 100
John 100
Colin 90
Jim 80
Geiss 80
Adam 70
Simon 60
Shawn 60
Folden 60
Munez 60
Bono 50

Pro Pick 'em looks like this right now.

Colin 154
Folden 146
Jim 145
Shawn 143
Simon 142
Geiss 141
Andrew 140
Bono 140
Adam 133
Munez 130
Joe 127
John 84

It's looking pretty for sure now that Colin is going to win this, it would take a pretty big fall in the last two weeks of the season for him to lose.

Before we get into anything else I want to add some total scores, then I'll get into the predictions and where we are with that.

Totals (College total score + pro pick'em + fantasy score + (bonus) =

Shawn 342+143+60+(15)=560
Geiss 307+141+80=528
Adam 293+133+70+(10)=506
Jim 264+145+80+(10)=499
Folden 286+146+60+(10)=502
Joe 274+127+100+(10)=511
Simon 271+142+60+(5)=478
Andrew 266+140+110+(10)=526
Munez 261+130+60=451
Bono 258+140+50+(15)=463
Colin 232+154+90+(15)=491
John 175+84+100=359

So the standings changed in those catagories to.

Shawn 560
Geiss 528
Andrew 526
Joe 511
Adam 506
Folden 502
Jim 499
Colin 491
Simon 478
Bono 463
Munez 451
John 359

Now, before we get to the total scores, we have some predictions that have came in. First off, Les Miles has won the AP Coach of the year award, which none of us had. However, there are some official points in for the NFL predictions, so let's do those now.

AFC North - still pending

AFC South - Texans
20 pts for -Jim, Geiss, Andrew, Joe, Bono, and Munez

AFC East champs - Pats
20 pts for - everyone but Shawn, Andrew, and John

AFC West Champs, still pending

NFC East Champs, still pending

NFC North Champs -Green Bay
Points for everyone

NFC West Champs - 49ers
Points for nobody

NFC South Champs - Saints
Points for everybody but Folden, Geiss, Joe, and John.

Totals for Football Predictions right now + whatever points you have gotten in the first 5 bowl games. Remember, these bowl games are worth 2 points each


Munez 80+6= 86
Bono 80+4=84
Jim 80+2=82
Geiss 60+10=70
Simon 60+8=68
Andrew 60+6=66
Adam 60+4=64
Colin 60+4=64
Joe 60+4=64
Shawn 40+4=44
Folden 40+4=44
John 20+6=26

This weekend, the Broncos could win the AFC west, the Cowboys the AFC east, Balt the AFC North, and both Atl and Detroit could lock up wildcard spots with wins. Now for your total scores


Shawn 560+44 = 604
Geiss 528+70=598
Andrew 526+66=592
Joe 511+64= 575
Adam 506+64= 570
Folden 502+44=546
Jim 499+ 82= 581
Colin 491+64= 555
Simon 478+68= 546
Bono 463+84= 547
Munez 451 + 86 = 537
John 359+26= 385

Overall Rankings

1. Shawn 604 (even)
2. Geiss 598 (even)
3. Andrew 592 (+4)
4. Jim 581 (even)
5. Joe 575 (+1)
6. Adam 570 (-3)
7. Colin 555 (+1)
8. Bono 547 (+2)
t9. Folden 546 (-4)
t9. Simon 546 (even)
11. Munez 537 (even)
12. John 385 (even)

Wow, what a swing. Now there are only 8 points between first and third, and only 67 points between first and 11th. The only person it's safe to say is out of it this year is John.

Also, big fucking suprise that Simon and Folden are tied.

Keep in mind that out of Andrew, Joe, John, and Colin. One of the four will get 20 more points for making it to the championship game, and whoever wins will add 50 points to their total. So if you aren't Andrew, Colin, or Joe, you probably want to route for John to win.

14 games into the season, and all of our teams that we chose to win the Superbowl are still in the playoff hunt. John and I's choice of San Diego and Bono's choice of Philadelphia are long shots, but still possible.

Another prediction that's almost all but certainly over foll all of us is the top 3 draft picks of next year. Indi is guaranteed one of them, while Minnesota or the Rams would have to win out. I don't know how the tie break would work then. But it's looking like it's going to fall in that way somehow.

That's it for this week. Everyone have a nice Christmas, and I'll get back at you all next week. Until then, I love you all

Monday, November 28, 2011

Football God: Week 13 Professional Edition

Another week in the books. Let's start with some predictions for the week. This is our first real shake up as far as Super Bowl predictions go. San Diego and Philadelphia both fell to 4-7 this week, which gives us the ability to make our first cuts in the Superbowl winners.

Bono had Philly, John and I had San Diego. It's pretty safe to assume that none of us will be winning this year. All together, there were 5 people who had one of those teams in the Superbowl, with Colin and Chris each having one of those teams in the Superbowl, but losing

Seven people had Philadelphia playing for the NFC championship. 3 had San Diego.

9 of the 12 of us had San Diego winning the AFC West, with Jim and Shawn picking Denver, and Folden taking the Raiders. As of now, it looks like those three are the only ones with chances to get points there.

In the NFC East, 9 out of 12 people picked Philadelphia to win the division, with Shawn, Simon, and myself being the only three to pick Dallas. The only person that didn't have Philadelphia in the playoffs this year was Simon.

Fantasy Football

Things took another crazy shake up in fantasy football this week. Here's your week recap.

Simon (5-6) v Folden (5-6)- This was an elimination game of sorts. Folden has been streaky all year, starting off 0-3, winning 5 in a row, and now losing 4 in a row. Folden's team has depended on Vick and Steven Jackson all year. They didn't show up and Simon took advantage of it. Simon got big games from Jimmy Graham and Sebastian Jankowski of all people.

Jim (6-5) v Andrew (7-4) -Andrew got hit with the same treatment from Drew Brees as I did from Tom Brady this year, with Brees putting up about 100 points in the two games he played against Jim this year. Jim got off of his slide to push himself back in position for a bye, while Andrew took a hit to fall back closer to the pack.

The Glove (4-7) v Adam (6-5) - I went into this game on a league best 6 game winning streak, while Munez came in winner of 3 of his last 4 games. Munez's team played well, kicking the shit out of my team. Munez moves to 5-7, keeping his fantasy playoff chances alive. In his 2 games against me this year, Munez has earned 40% of his wins, with Tom Brady scoring 102 points in the two games combined. I fall to 6-6, and my once strong team is in serious jeopardy with Fred Jackson, Ahman Bradshaw, and D-McFadden all going down to injury in the recent weeks.

Geiss (5-6) v Colin (7-4) Colin came into this game with the chance to basically lock up a playoff spot for his team. Geiss came in trying to hold onto the last playoff spot. Geiss rode the recent stellar play of Chris Johnson and was able to overtake Colin, despite Beanie Wells running for 1,000 yards this weekend. Geiss moves to 6-6, while Colin loses his 3rd in his last 4 games to fall to 7-5.

Bono (5-6) v Shawn (5-6)- This was another elimination type game, with Shawn pulling out a tight win against Bono. Bono dealt with receiver inconsistencies again, while Shawn got good outings from both Roddy White and Eric Decker. That was the difference.

McLane Bowl II
Joe (6-5) vs John (5-6)

John made an effort this week in Football God, and did pretty well for himself. John came back from his loss to Joe at the beginning of the season to pull himself to 6-6 on the season. It's amazing that if he had paid attention all year to this, he would probably be in first place in the fantasy league. John got solid play from his line-up as well a big game from Roy Helu to beat Joe.

Standings

Colin 7-5
Andrew 7-5
Jim 7-5
Joe 6-6
Adam 6-6
Geiss 6-6
Simon 6-6
Shawn 6-6
John 6-6
Bono 5-7
Munez 5-7
Folden 5-7

Playoff Scenarios

Here I'm going to detail for you guys, what each person needs to make the playoffs with only two weeks left.

ALMOST IN:

Colin 7-5 vs (Andrew 7-5, & Folden 5-7)

Colin only needs one more win to clinch a playoff birth. He plays Andrew & Folden. Colin has lost 3 of his last 4, but his team is so strong that winning one more shouldn't be a problem. Also, Colin is leading the league in points, so one more win would realistically give him any advantage in a tie break situation.

Andrew 7-5 vs (Colin 7-5, & Shawn 6-6)

Andrew is in the same situation as Colin, except he's not as for sure of a thing as Colin is. Andrew is in 3rd in points, and would most likely be able to win in a tie break situation. However, you never know what can happen. What's for sure is that next week Andrew and Colin are playing in a game that will put one of them in the playoffs for sure, and have the other in a likely elimination situation in the last week of the season. Andrew or Colin could still lose out and get in, if things fall their way. But we won't know that until the smoke clears in two weeks.

Jim 7-5 vs (Folden 5-7, & John 6-6)

Jim is in a similar situation as Colin and Andrew. He has the second most points in the league, and is one win away from making the playoffs. He could still lose both of his games and make the playoffs, however it's not for sure.

STILL HAVE WORK TO DO:

Adam 6-6 vs (Bono 5-7, & Geiss 6-6)

I'm still in the playoff picture, but my team had almost a double loss this past week. I lost my game, but I also put up very few points, too. This could come to bite me in the ass in a tie breaking situation. If I beat Bono and put up a lot of points next week, I'll likely be in, however it could come down to me and Geiss, head-to-head, playing for a playoff spot.

Geiss 6-6 vs (Shawn 6-6 & Adam 6-6)

Geiss is in a situation where he controls his own destiny, and his two games left are against people who control there own destiny too. Geiss has a lot of points so a win and two strong showings should get him in. Two wins will for sure.

Joe 6-6 vs (Simon 6-6 & Jim 7-5)

Joe has a lot of points, just like Geiss and I. So, a win would and a loss would likely put him in the playoffs in any tie breaking situation.

NEEDS WORK & A LITTLE HELP

Simon 6-6 vs (Joe 6-6 & John 6-6)

Simon has the twins to close out the season, and is pretty close in points to Geiss, who sits in 6th. Simon controls his own destiny too, but if he loses any of his two games left, he's going to need a team in front of him to lose a game to get into the playoffs. Luckily, Geiss & I play in the last game of the season, so if he loses to Joe, he can still sneak into the playoffs if he puts up enough points to win a tiebreak.

Shawn 6-6 vs (Geiss 6-6 & Andrew 7-5)

Shawn is in a similar situation as Simon, however winning out doesn't necessarily put him in the playoffs. It likely would be enough to get him in, however he would need to make up some slack in the points department

John 6-6 vs (Munez 5-7 & Simon 6-6)

John is in a pretty decent situation, because he doesn't play any of the power houses to finish out the year, and can simply win out and still make the playoffs. His biggest issue is that this dude isn't beating anybody in a tie break situation, so one more loss and he's done. Luckily, there are enough people playing teams in front of him that if he wins out he will most likely make the playoffs.

LIKELY DONE, BUT NEVER SAY NEVER

Folden 5-7 vs (Jim 7-5 & Colin 7-5)

Folden has a huge uphill battle here. He needs to beat the two best teams in the league to finish off the year, and also hope that a lot of teams in front of him lose. And, unless his team puts up 200 points each of the next two weeks, he's not beating anybody in the tie break. But, all's not lost for him yet. All he can do is finish strong and hope for the best. Folden needs to hope that Munez and Bono can win out, and that he can out point them.

Bono 5-7 vs (Adam 6-6 & Munez 5-7)

Bono is in a tough situation as well. He needs to win out, plain and simple, and also hope for the best. It's likely over for him. However, if his team can put together a couple of 150 point games, as it did early in the season, he may be able to squeeze in to the post season.

Munez, "The Glove" 5-7 vs (John 6-6, & Bono 5-7)

The Glove is winning the little engine that could award from me this year. He started the season 1-6, but is likely done for the year. However, if he can finish off at .500, just like Bono and Folden, he could find his way into the playoffs. It's very unlikely at this point for all three of those guys to make the playoffs, but you never know.

Fantasy Thoughts.

The difference record wise between first place and twelfth place in this league is 7-5 and 5-7. Two games seperate first and last, which is pretty outstanding.

Two weeks ago, Andrew was 7-3 and almost a sure thing to make the playoffs. He has since lost two straight games, and one more loss could put him in danger of missing the playoffs.

Munez was 1-6, 7 games into the season. He is 4-1 since.

Bono has only scored over 100 points since week 3 of this season.

I am 0-4 against the 3 teams at the bottom of the standings this year, and 6-2 against everybody else.


Pro Pick 'em

Joe and John tied at the top with 13 correct predictions, with me bringing up the rear with 9. Joe had 25 points total this week, and took down the 5 point bonus. Next week is the last week for the 5 point bonus for the season.

Overall Scores

college pick 'em + pro pick 'em + fantasy football 10 points per win + (bonus)= total

Shawn 146+115+60+(15)=336
Andrew 146+109+70+(10)=335
Adam 141+100+60+(10)=311
Munez 141+100+50=291
Geiss 137+109+60+=306
Simon 136+112+60+(5)=313
Folden 136+119+50+(10)=315
Colin 134+124+70+(15)=343
Bono 134+112+50+(15)=311
Joe 131+106+60+(10)=307
Jim 126+112+70+(5)=313
John 75+84+60=219

Overall Rankings

1. Colin 343 (even)
2. Shawn 336 (^1)
3. Andrew 335 (-1)
4. Folden 315 (-1)
t5. Simon 313 (^3)
t5. Jim 313 (^2)
t7. Bono 311 (-2)
t7 Adam 311 (-2)
9. Joe 307 (even)
10. Geiss 306 (even)
11. Munez 291 (even)
12. John 219 (even)

So after taking a week off, Simon and Jim are back to being tied. I'm interested to see where we all stand next week after the smoke clears on college predictions. Check your points. Check mine. Until next week, I love you all.