So I'm going to explain something to you guys. When somebody makes a pre season prediction, and it starts to appear that that prediction will not come true, I usually highlight that prediction in red, to give myself a better indication of who is looking good and who is looking bad. That's not to say that the team can't rebound and get the red mark removed from their name. It's just for indicative purposes. Well, ladies, I can officially say that I have put my first red marks on the 2009 season. I'll go through each team that's been redded out.

Before I do that, I want to say something to the 5 people, Munez, Rob, Joe, Geiss, & Jim who picked both Florida and the Steelers to repeat as champions this year. I got curious so I looked up some statistics. In the 43 years since the Super Bowl started that has NEVER HAPPENED in the same season. Not once. Of course, there is a first for everything, but I did the research so I might as well write about it.

I'll start off by saying that you may notice that Rob's NFC representative in the Super Bowl, the Carolina Panthers, is not on this list. I'm going to Chet Stedman them here and give them one more.

Tennessee - Colin had them winning the division, and Jim and Folden both had them in the Wildcard. It is possible for them to get their shit together and go on a tear, winning a wild card spot. Unlikely, but possible. As far as winning the division goes there chances of that are FUCK and NO. 4 games back of the better Manning 4 games into the season. Sorry C-Bag. Seemed like a good choice to you and only you, and the rest of us seemed to know the reason. It's because of Kerry Collins stock...Strathmore. (I still appreciate his racism)

Oakland (Winning the AFC wildcard) Adam - You know this is me getting what I deserve. Honestly, they are 1-3 which by no means counts them out of wildcard contention. But, aside from the San Diego game they are a bad bad bad 1-3. I encourage each and every one of you to make fun of me in the comments section for making this pick. Please, I deserve it. Anybody who pins their hopes (and money) on Al Davis, Jamarcus Russel, & Tom Cable deserves the pain. Here is a picture of Darth Vader meeting the Emperor.

Denver (Top three picks) - 4-0. Pretty much ruins the chances of this one for Myself, Folden, Shawn, Andrew, Munez, and Rob.

Oklahoma (BCS Title Game) Rob - Well, pal, I don't know what to tell you. This makes sense compared to the rest of your picks. It really really does.

North Carolina (Win the ACC & play in a BCS game) Adam - Loses to above average Georgia Tech & below average Virginia have pretty much guarenteed this pick is not going to happen.

Ball St (Win the Mac) Rob - Ball St is 0-1 in their conference. That's not what got them the red out. What's gotten them a red out is going 0-5 including loses to North Texas, New Hampshire, Army, & Toledo. That team doesn't have a fucking shot

Florida Atlantic (Win the Sun Belt Conference) Colin - The conferences are different but the story's the same. Florida Atlantic International St University College A&M is 0-1 in conference play, but winless on the year.

Darrius Heyward Bay (or is it Bey) (Offensive Rookie of the Year) Andrew - Stats through 4 games: 1 catch - 18 yards. 'nuff said.

Ladainian Tomlinson (Offensive POY) Andrew - his stats are (barely) better than Darrius Heyward-BeyBay's.

Terrell Pryor (Heisman Trophy) Munez - Sorry, Bub, he's not even on the radar. I liked that you went out on a limb, but it's called going out on a limb for a reason.

On the Edge of joining the Red Outs - Florida St, Carolina Panthers, Miami Dolphins,

College football had a bit of parody as usual. Joe had a panty moistening performance, while Rob put up 6 points. I mean really Rob. Six goddamn points. Rob and i spoke on the internet last Saturday night for awhile. If Rob were to have made the opposite decision in every single pick that he's made this season he would be 4 games out of first place. Instead, he's 14. Here's how it worked out this week.

Joe - 12

Andrew - 11

Adam - 10

Jim - 10

Colin - 9

Munez - 9

Voyten - 8

Geiss - 8

Folden - 8

Rob - 6

In Fantasy Football news for this week, Munez has finally forced me to retire from my mocking of the snugness & location of the glove. Retard Mendenhall decided to have his coming out party for the sole reason of pushing my team to 1-3 on the season. Joe absolutely pounded Shawn, thanks to the manliness of David Garrard & Antonoio Gates. Andrew beat Rob putting them both at an even steven 2-2. Colin put up manly numbers again, raising his stock to 3-1.

In interesting Fantasy Football news for this week, Rob and I came to terms in the league's first trade of the season. I sent Anquan Boldin, Tony Gonzalez, and Willie Parker to Rob for Cedric Bensen, Greg Olson, & Roy Williams.

As I write this, Geiss and Jim are awaiting the end of the Vikings vs Packers games to find out who wins. The lead has switched hands like 4 times so far, and as of right now, Geiss is beating Jim by 6 100th's of a fucking point! I can't believe I'm actually enjoying keeping up with live scoring like this. My panties are fucking soaked.
And Jared Allen gets a sack! Jim is now up by less than a point on Geiss! Field goal by Green Bay! Will Jim lose any points for that...Now the waiting game begins.

Unoffically, Jimbo has won his first game of the season. Congrats buddy. If you guys want to see what this poor bastard had to go through to get a win, check out his schedule so far this year. He's scored at least 120 points each week, and his match ups have been TERRIBLE.

Here are the overall records.

Colin 3-1

Munez 3-1

Joe 3-1

Voyten 2-2

Andrew 2-2
Geiss 2-2

Rob 2-2
Jim 1-3

Adam 1-3

Folden 1-3

Pro Pick 'Em

Well I only lost one game this week, just like Jim in week 1 the Broncos kept me from reaching the 100% mark. Here are the weekly totals.

Adam - 13
Folden - 12
Andrew - 12
Geiss - 12
Jim - 11
Joe - 11
Munez - 11
Rob - 9
Colin - 9
Voyten - 9

Demi God
Honestly, Andrew had another solidly consistent week. 2nd in both pick 'ems and a fantasy win. But, I'm gonna have to give this guy to Joe Mclane. He dominated college and put up numbers in the pro pick 'em. Plus he had another good fantasy win. He's the man.

Donkey Dick

Honestly, I wanted to give it to Shawn this week. He lost his fantasy game, and did poorly in both pick 'ems. But, Rob was just worse. I mean, the dude got 6 points in the College Pick 'em, tied for last in the NFL pick 'em. Plus his predictions are getting redded out almost as quickly as mine.

So here you go Rob. Two weeks in a row. You suck donkey dick.

Now here we are, one quarter of the way through the NFL regular season, and...I don't know...31% of the way through the College Football Season. Let's check out the overall totals.

College Football Pick 'Em

Folden - 57
Adam - 57
Joe - 56
Jim - 55
Colin - 55
Andrew - 54
Munez - 54
Geiss - 53
Voyten - 50
Rob - 43

NFL Pick 'Em

Munez - 47
Folden - 46
Jim - 46
Adam - 44
Geiss - 43
Colin - 42
Andrew - 40
Rob - 38
Joe - 38
Voyten - 37

Fantasy Football Bonus
Munez 30
Joe 30
Colin 30
Rob 20
Geiss 20
Andrew 20
Voyten 20
Folden 10
Jim 10
Adam 10

Totals

Munez 131 (LW 1 Even Steven)
Colin 127 (LW 2, Even)
Joe 124 (LW 5, (+3)
Geiss 116 (LW 4 (-1)
Andrew 114 (LW 9 (+4)
Folden 113 (LW 4 (-3)
Adam 111 (LW 7 (EVEN)
Jim 111 (LW 10 (+3)
Voyten 107 (LW 6 (-2)
Rob 101 (LW 8 (-2)

Demi Gods & Donkey Dicks Week 4

Demi God

For this week, we're going to have a tie. Andrew & Geiss put up exact numbers in their the pic 'ems, and they both won their fantasy football games. I couldn't decide between my best friend of like 30 years and my brother of like 30 years, so I figured I'd flip a cup. But, then I realized, "Duh, Adam, you don't flip a cup to decide something, you flip a coin. Flipping a cup is for flip cup." So, instead I bought a twelve pack and played flip cup alone for the entire day. Then when I woke up from being passed out I realized that I still hadn't made up my mind about Demi God. So, I just made it a tie.












Donkey dick of the week

Going to have to give this one to old ROB "KLINGON" KLINGONSMITH
That's right pal. You're team isn't worth even the ten dollars you are putting your face in right now. Just kidding, you haven't been that bad. But, you did put up a sweet 15 points in pick em this week. That's right 15 points COMBINED. Folden put up 15 points in the College pick em alone. STRATHMORE STOCK BITCH. Not only that, but your team shit the bed in fantasy football, and your superbowl prediction teams are a combined 1-5. AND, one of your national championship teams already has a loss. AND...man...well, you are going to be a lawyer someday...should probably keep you on my good side.

Football God Week 4

Another week in the books. In college football 4 of the top 10 teams in the country lost. 3 of which were to unranked teams. Penn State took a geriatric dump on their own chests, Ole Miss somehow let Steve Spurriur become relevant again, Miami made VT look like a good team, and Cal got absolutely SLAUGHTERED by Oregon. This does nothing but strengthen the argument that there should be no pre season rankings in College Football.

In other news, Boise State has been bumped up to #5 in the nation. Here's a question. If Boise St wins out, how many teams do you think will jump them. I mean we are 4 games into the season and although Boise is undefeated, their is no realistic chance that they will play for the national championship.

In the pick 'em this week, Folden put up a blistering 15 points. Andrew finally joined the party, picking up 13 points. The rest of us were meandering between 12 and 10, except for Joe who put up 9 points, and Rob who put up a dismally pathetic 7.

Good Pick, Better Pick, Worst Pick

Good picks this week, Jim & I took South Florida over Florida State, Folden & Munez took SMU over the 13.5 point spread, Geiss & Folden got Iowa over PSU, Jim & Folden got ASU over Georgia, & Me and Geiss got Stanford over Washington

An even better pick was Folden's foresight to take Miss St over LSU. I guess when you're going to go 15-6 you're going to get a lot of games right.

Worst Pick - It could go a lot of ways, but I think Rob & I taking Kentucky over Florida was a pretty obviously bad pick with only a three touchdown spread.

Below are the season leaders in college pick 'em.

In other news, conference play is finally underway for most teams. A couple of weeks down the road, I'll finally be able to give a detailed analysis of each conference, how things are looking and what not.

In the NFL, things were a bit odd today. The Denver Broncos improved to 3-0, the Bengals went to 2-1, dropping the Steelers to 1-2. The Jets are 3-0. The Saints are 3-0, San Fran is 2-1. None of those teams made the playoffs last year. Besides the Broncos, Jets, and Saints, the Colts, Ravens, Giants, & Vikings are undefeated. Minnesota accomplished this on the pants wetting throw by Brett Favre to (didn't know he was still in the league) Greg Lewis.

As far as our pre-season predictions go, my picks are looking good so far, as the Colts and Vikings are both undefeated so far. The only teams anybody had in the Superbowl that have a losing record so far are the Steelers and the Panthers. Every other team is either 3-0 or 2-1.

Actually, altogether Tennessee, Carolina, Arizona, Pittsburgh, & Miami are a combined 2-13 so far. These teams went a combined 57-23 last year. All of them went to the playoffs, 3 of them had first round byes, all 5 won their divisons, and 2 of them played in the Superbowl.

Good Pick, Better Pick, Worst Pick

Good picks for the week - Munez & Voyten taking Jacksonville over Houston was good. Also, Geiss, Folden, and Jim had Denver over the Raiders.

Better pick - My pick of the Lions winning over Washington was the best pick of the week. That's how you sit in a chair. Also, Andrew being the only one to take the Jets over Tennessee was some good picking.

Worst picks of the week - This one has to go to Rob. He took 0-2 Carolina over Dallas on the road. Not savvy.

NFL picks of the week total

Voyten - 12

Munez - 11

Geiss - 11

Adam - 11

Joe - 11

Folden - 11

Andrew - 10

Colin - 10

Jim - 10

Rob - 8

Overall Results

College

Folden - 49

Adam - 47

Colin - 46

Jim - 45

Munez - 45

Geiss - 45

Joe - 44

Andrew - 43

Voyten - 42

Rob - 37 (is it too early to start figuring out Rob's elimination number here)

NFL

Munez - 36

Jim - 35

Folden - 34

Colin - 33

Adam - 31 (oddly, Geiss & I have had the same record all three weeks so far)

Geiss - 31

Rob - 29

Voyten - 28

Andrew - 28

Joe - 27

Fantasy Football

Joe - 20

Voyten - 20

Rob - 20

Colin - 20

Geiss - 20

Munez - 20

Adam - 10

Folden - 10

Andrew - 10

Jim - 0

Overall Total (Make sure to re do the math on your self. I do these quickly and believe it or not, i am fallible)

1. Munez - 101 (LW 3 ^2)

2. Colin - 99 (LW 1 (-1)

3. Geiss - 96 (LW 6 (^3)

4. Folden - 93 (LW 4 Even Steven)

5. Joe - 91 (LW 7 (^2)

6. Voyten - 90 (LW 9 (^3)

7. Adam - 88 (LW 5 (-2)

8. Rob - 86 (LW 2 (-6)

9. Andrew - 81 (LW 10 (^1)

10. Jim - 80 (LW 8 (-2)

Congrats Munez, you rose to the cream of the crop. I'm proud of you. I'll do the Demi God & Donkey Dick tomorrow. L8er Sk8ers.

Week 3 Results Show: Part 2

Well, I'm going to avoid showing any pictures this post, because my eye balls hurt. We'll get down to the stank nast.

The 49ers are 2-0 defeating the Cardinals and the Seahawks in their first two games. Suck my dick.

People who picked Atlanta and New Orleans are happy. Each are 2-0 early on in the season. Of course Rob's super bowl pick Carolina is 0-2 in that division. Soon, Rob may have the first big casualty of the season, for his Super Bowl loser.

The NY Giants took advantage of Tony Romo's bed shitting Sunday Night en route to a last second victory. They also stand at 2-0.

And the Minnesota Favre stand at 2-0, having beat the Cleveland Browns and the Detroit Lions this season. They will have their next barn burner next week against win less St.Louis.

In the AFC, 3 teams that nobody had winning their divisions are sitting at the top. The New York Jets, Baltimore, & the Broncos. Everybody can rest easily though, as the only 100% sure fire thing to happen this season is for San Diego to win the west. Folden was the only one with the foresight to pick the Jets, but he didn't man up enough to put them at the division win. Only at the wild card level. And the Ravens are 2-0 after beating the AFC west to start the season.

In the AFC South the Colts took two difficult games down to the wire to start 2-0 for like the 1,000th time in a row.

In the pro pick 'em Folden & Munez tied with a nice 11 out of 16. Colin, Rob, & Jim all put up 10. That's when things start to get bad, with myself and Geiss only going 8-8, Andrew only going 7-99, and Shawn & Joe going 5-11 a piece.

So for the season, here is your leader board.

Munez 25

Jim 25

Folden 23

Colin 23

Rob 21

Geiss 20

Adam 20

Andrew 18

Joe 16

Voyten 16

The college standings for the season so far are

Adam 35

Joe 35

Colin 35

Munez 35

Folden 34

Jim 34

Geiss 33

Voyten 32

Rob 30

Andrew 30

Plus all of these people got the ten point bonus for their fantasy wins this week. Those are the following

Voyten

Folden

Munez

Colin

Rob

So now we have our current point standings.

Current Standings

(Last Week Results on the Right)

1. Colin 78 2 (^1)

2. Rob 71 5 (^3)

3. Munez 70 T6 (^3)

4. Folden 67 T6 (^2)

5. Adam 65 1 (- 4)

6. Geiss 63 3 (-3)

7. Joe 61 4 (-3)

8. Jim 59 8 (" ")

9. Voyten 58 9 (" ")

10.Andrew 48 10 (" ")

Football Demi God of the Week

Gonna have to give it to the man, Colin Reilly. Check that, Chris Everett. Colin not only won his fantasy football game, tied for the win in college football pick 'em, but he also tied for 3rd, one of the victory in the pro pick 'em. Pretty fucking manly

In case you guys were wondering, YES, Colin loves his Beaver in the process of shaving, while looking in a vanity mirror.

Donkey Dick of the Week

This one was kind of tough for me. Sunday, when I realized that Joe had forgotten to many any pics for the Sunday 1:00 games, I had automatically penciled him in. But, when Voyten finished the week tied with Joe with only 5 correct predictions, even though he had 9 chances more than Joe to break that tie. Briefly my decision wavered. However, in the end Joe wins it.

Let's just put it this way. Forgetting is Strathmore Stock. Even if you decide spur of the moment to drive to Alabama to watch WVU shit their faces, you can still take the 5 minutes at any point of the week to make your choices. And, anybody who forgets in the future, learn from this cautionary tale. There's $20 beans available here, but more importantly...Pride

Get your picks in (that means you Joe.)

Sexy Week 3 Updates: Part 1

Yo, what's up my dickles? I'm back with a boner ready to tell you all about the stanky cheese that went down in the game of sports this weekend so far.

Let's start off with the obvious. Geiss's National Championship Pick, USC, lost this weekend to Washington. This makes 3 people who have had their a team playing in their National Championship losing in the first 3 weeks of the season. OH MY!

In a move that makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever, the AP voted the Hurricanes #9 in the country. This means that Miami has gone from unranked to a top 10 team by beating Florida St & Georgia Tech, two slightly above average programs from the ACC. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT be suprised when this unrealistic and undeserved acclaim train hits the fucking wall down the road.
Speaking of undeserving. After losing to Miami and almost losing to Jacksonville St, Florida St got back into the top 25 jumping to fucking 18th in the country, by stomping a mid major. The voters really want the ACC to be good, don't they. I mean they just cum in their pants over it.
just like you guys while you read the sexy updates.
What this means for our preseason predictions is that Miami is 2-0 in the ACC. Georgia Tech's loss puts them down a little bit for Shawn, and I mentioned Florida St so that I could put pictures of Jenn Sturger's sexy tits up.

In other news USC fell to #12, Oklahoma is up to #10, and Ohio State fell two spots to #13, even though they crushed their opponent this weekend. That being said, Geiss, Shawn, and Rob's picks for National Championship Game teams still have a shot to rise back up to the top. Unlikely, but it's better to lose early than late.

In other news WVU showcased supreme choking capabilities, it was a good 4 years, it's time for the mediocrity to resume.
Penn State refused to cover the spread again.

And Pitt played...nobody really noticed. Especially not the voters of the Top 25 poll.

In the College Pick 'em this week. Jim & Colin kept their momentum running getting an impressive 14 games a piece. Right behind them Joe & Munez had 13. The full results are below.

Jim 14
Colin 14
Munez 13
Joe 13
Adam 12
Geiss 12
Voyten 10
Rob 10
Folden 10
Andrew 9

I hope you all enjoyed your sexy updates. I'll be back tomorrow or Tuesday with the NFL updates and updated standings.
Andrew 9

Football God Week 2: Part 2

Ok, now that those pesky Monday Night games are over with, and I have a few minutes to sit down and blog, let's get to it. We'll start with the pro picks for the NFL's first week. Jim came out with a redonk 15 of 16 correct predictions. The fluke Denver touchdown being the only thing that stopped him from a perfect score. Directly behind him was Munez, whose glove fit a little better with 14 points.

Here is how the scores came out for the week

Jim 15

Munez 14

Colin 13

Adam 12

Folden 12

Geiss 12

Joe 11

Voyten 11

Andrew 11

Rob 11

Add in the college scores so far:

Folden 24

Adam 23

Shawn 22

Munez 22

Joe 22

Geiss 21

Colin 21

Andrew 21

Rob 20

Jim 20

Also add the 10 points that the winners of week one fantasy football won

Adam

Colin

Geiss

Joe

Rob

That means that right now, the Football God leader board looks like this

Adam 45

Colin 44

Geiss 43

Joe 43

Rob 43

Munez 36

Folden 36

Jim 35

Shawn 33

Andrew 32

So there you go, 2 weeks into the season and I'm winning. I might as well enjoy it now, because that most assuredly won't continue. It would have been interesting if Geiss and I had played in week 1 of the fantasy football season, because I would have beaten him by 1/5th of a point.

So let's move on to our Football Demi God of the week

Jim and Folden each looked good with there pro and college pick 'em scores, but neither won their fantasy game. Colin showed some overall consistancy, but his college picks hurt him a bit this week. Without showing favoritism I am going to have to give it to myself. I finished in third in the pro pick 'em, second in the college, and I won my fantasy football game. That's overall consistancy.

For the donkey dick award for the week, going to the guy who sucked the most donkey dick, I was really wanting to give it to Rob, just to insight a rivalry, but he had to scrape his shit together at the last second and win his fantasy game. So instead, I'm going to have to give it to the elder Johnson. Tied for last in the pro pick 'em, tied for last in the college pick 'em and lost his fantasy football game. Andrew sucked the most donkey dick this week.

So, get those pick 'em pics in and get those fantasy rosters ready. We are finally underway of what's sure to be a great season

Football God Week 2: Part 1

Well, well, well. Two weeks in and we already have our second loss by somebody's choice for a National Championship team. Freshman Quarterback Charles (Matt) Barkley did two things this weekend to make him one of my favorite college quarterbacks. First, he beat THE Ohio State, a team I couldn't hate anymore if they raped my mother. Secondly, his post game interview with (insert minority side line reporter here) was the closest thing I've ever seen to an oblivious reenactment to Will Ferrell's post race interview in Talladega Nights. He clearly didn't know what to do with his hands.


That means that so far Shawn and Rob's losers in the National Championship are already losers themselves. That leaves USC, Florida, and Texas as the only teams that people put in the National Championship without a loss yet. And, if Oklahoma & OSU win out they still could make it to the championship, because if you're going to loss, better to do it early.

In hilarious news, Andrew's pick to win the ACC fought a long hard battle with nemesis Jacksonville St, needing every allowable quarter to work it's way to victory. How do you go from putting on a vintage game against Miami that could elevate your team back up to National powerhouse status to dukeing it out against a team that I've never heard of. Piss fucking poor.

Florida dominated Troy, who we all have winning that one conference. I think. I don't know. Maybe Colin picked something different. Here is a picture of Tim Teebow during the game.

In good for one program bad for another news, Houston who a couple of people picked to win...Conference USA? The Mac? Not sure really, upset Oklahoma St who proved they were much more overrated than their ranking indicated.

Not a lot else happened this weekend. Mediocre Michigan upset mediocre Notre Dame, who myself, Shawn, and Rob each picked, further solidifying Rob's position as the cancer for teams taht he picked for this season. Cinci & Oklahoma beat their opponents by a combined 2 billion points, and God spent a little bit more time on Geiss, because he's so handsome, you see.

In this weeks Pick 'Em Folden led the way, scoring 13 points. This was followed by 12 for myself and Geiss. The glove started to fit a little better, with Munez putting up 11 points, along with Joe & Jim. Andrew, Shawn, Colin, & Rob got what they deserved, picking the cover for most teams this week and responded with a mediocre 10 points.

For the season, Folden now has a slim lead with 24 points. I'm right behind him with 23 points. Voyten, Munez, and Joe are next with 22 points. Geiss, Colin, & Andrew are next with 21 points, and Rob & Jim bring up the rear with 20. Geiss, I'm gonna call you out here. You usually have lovely little quotes from funny movies as your name, and I think you can do better than Pineapple Express. I expect more from you.

Moving on to the Pros, which thank the fucking god finally got started this weekend. The NFL kicked off on Thursday with a vomit inducing performance by the Black Eyed Peas & Tim McGraw. Dumb. The Steelers & Titans opened up the season with an entertaining game. Both teams played stout defense, and Kerry Collins appeared sober.
However, other reports are that he's still racist.

Big Ben managed to chill out for the better part of three quarters before finally getting involved in the game. Although I feel like the Steelers were outplayed, they found a way to win.

In Sunday's games, Drew Brees made the Lions smell their assholes off of his cock, by throwing 6 touchdown passes. The NO defense punished Matt Stafford's ugly ass in his first game as a pro, while my defensive rookie of the year pick Malcolm Jenkins racked up an impressive 1 tackle.

Also, the Broncos avoided their first of many loses this season, based on a fluke play that led to victory. I don't think it was good luck that helped them out, but more the habitual terrible luck of the Bengals. I'm going to use this a great time to segway into a story from the NFL Draft this year that Shawn & I attended.

We sat behind a group of Bengals fans. As soon they were on the clock they started chanting, "Draft a G.M" referring to Mike Brown, the owner of the Bengals who refuses to spend money/attempt to win games. I spoke to the guys, and they revealed themselves as the writerss of the Cincinnati based blog Whodeyrevolution.com. After several minutes, the Bengals pick was in, and Roger Goddell (spelled right) announced that the Bengals had drafted trouble offensive lineman Andre Smith. IMMEDIATELY, one of the guys snatched a paper bag up from under his chair and throw it over his head. It was without a doubt, the most entertaining moment of the day. And I'm not underplaying the draft, it was a ton of fun. It was just the perfect moment of anguish, self and city loathing, and comedic timing.

That being said, I could never hate the Bengals, because their fans (aside from a couple of fleeting moments half a decade ago) are the Football version of the Pittsburgh Pirates. That franchise is worse than the Lions, worse than the Raiders. At least for the past two decades they are.

Also, in other funny Rob makes bad picks news, Rob's superbowl pick the Carolina Panthers got hammered all day long by Football God NFC favorite Phili. In perfectly set up drama, McNabb got hurt, making people wonder if Vick will get the week 3 start. Jake Delhomme looked like Strathmore Stock, turning the ball over 5 times. This means that in Jake "The Jakes" last two games he has turned the ball over 11 mother fucking times. That, my comrades, is the worst fucking thing that I've ever heard.


I found other more accurate pictures that I could use for Jake Delhomme, but I had to use this one. This is a picture that is supposed to be depicting the quarterback controversy between Rodney Pete & Jake Delhomme from 5 or 6 years ago. This is the least inspired photoshop that I've ever seen in my life. What is it about Delhomme? He's always been one of those guys that gets the job done well enough to keep his job, but you know is never going to take you to the promised land. He's like the ME of the professional football world.

Also, San Fran HERE WE GOOOOOOO MOTHER FUCKERSSSSSS started their run of domination with a win against the go fuckyourself Cardinals this week. More like Mike Awesometary

Adrian Peterson whipped out his boner and beat it over the head of the Browns with 3 touchdowns and 180 yards. Manly. Perhaps it's too early to warrant Timmy T with the Jesus playing football figurine as a picture.

In other news, many people found the Texans an incredibly sexy pick this season (including Rob, of course). The Texans looked terrible, getting pounded by the suprisingly good looking New York Jets. Maybe Folden was onto something when he made that scary as fuck me in the ass pick of the Jets winning the Wildcard.

Part two Tomorrow Night or Tuesday morning.